An Interesting Encounter, Part 3

Note to self: Consider not making so much eye contact on the street.

Today’s interesting encounter happened two months and a few meters away from my very first in Malaysia. Like my first, this one two had to do entirely with “luck” and involved a random person insisting that I … well… possessed some.

At around 6:15PM, I was walking out the monorail exit of Sungei Wang Plaza with the intention of making a B-line for the Maybank at the corner of Bukit Bintang and Jalan Sultan Ismail – I’d told José I’d meet him there after going on a Labyrinth-style adventure through the mall (well, Labyrinth-style if Jennifer Connely was actually looking for camera cleaning equipment instead of a baby). Now Bukit Bintang is a huge hangout on weekends, mostly for Malay highschool kids – in any case it was busy. I was walking along the ramp that would lead me past the Monorail station and down a flight of stairs to the street, when I found myself sandwiched between WWF donation-askers on the prowl. Foolish Andrew… I thought I could escape (looking like a tourist as I do) but alas in the blink of an eye, one was on me like a Minock on the Maltese Falcon (ugh… too much?). A younger man with a clip board, probably not much older that me was at my side, engaging in professional talk-and-walk. We exchanged hellos and how are yous etc, when I decided to get to brass tax.

“WWF, right?” I said, in an awkwardly conversational way.
“No no no,” he replied.

“Uh-oh,” I thought, “I’m in way over my head this time”

I would re-create the conversation that followed word for word, but to be honest, I understood very little of it. My replies went along the lines of:

“Nope I live here! …. Three months … uh… just over that way … nope I’m meeting a friend. Gotta go”

Needless to say, my escape attempt failed. He began explaining his mission. Honeslty, this is what I got out of it: he had a clipboard, inside were some photocopied sheets and some pamphlets that said “thank you,” and he would get one or two ringetts commission if something happened but that didn’t involve me buying anything. I was clearly confused – he handed me a little glued together pamphlet and told me to open it. I opened it painfully, revealing a blank circle in the middle. He exploded.

“You did it! Oh oh oh” he stammered in excitement, jumping around.

I stood emotionless, very impressed by the amount that the fellow’s heart was in this. I can’t stress enough how ecstatic he was for me for having revealed the blank grey square. He excitedly started pointing at the photocopy – at a list of consumer goods, including a car, a plasma tv, I think maybe a boat? I’d won them. Just like all those internet ads keep telling me – I’m a winner. I just have to be and I can get any number of goods for free just because. He kept pointing at a car down below.

“Ohhh, so you’re saying I can get a car?”

“Yes! Yes! Do you know where Mid-Valley is?? We’ll get into your car and go! But we have to go now!! We only have 15 minutes!”

Ahh… there it is. We only have an arbitrary 15 minutes from when I revealed the grey square to hop in my car and drive 25 minutes out to mid-valley mall, so I can get my free anything and he can get his 1 or 2 Ringett commission that he told me about. Hm.

“Ahh, sorry many! I have to go – I have tickets to James Bond!” I told him.

“Nooo! 15 minutes, we’ll get a cab! Don’t you understand?? Do you understand what I’m saying?? You’ve won! You did it!” He was practically crying.

“I’m sorry! Maybe next time?” I felt bad and gave the fellow a pat on the shoulder before heading down to Maybank. Honestly, I felt a pang of guilt at the thought of how much effort had been put into that performance.

Sigh. Why is that I’ve been de-sensitized to everyone and everything that tells me I’ve “won” something other than a Dr. Pepper?

Anyways, I knew this couldn’t be real… October was my lucky month.